Relapse.

  So, yesterday, I broke a glass, and while I was cleaning it up I accidentally hurt my thumb. I felt the pain and I saw the blood, and before I could think twice about it I had stolen a piece, washed it off, and used it on myself.
  Did it feel as good as it always had before? No. I felt guilty. I thought I was disappointing my mom, and Romeo, and my crazy-doctor, and myself. It made me absolutely hate myself.
  But, now I realize that since it was a letdown, I don't need it anymore. I don't have to be tempted by it because it doesn't bring the same relief and pleasure as it did before.
  So guys, the moral of this story is, don't act on your impulses, and don't let hurting yourself be your only option for feeling better.